Children; Yesterday and Today

In this article I will attempt to share my observations of children I have worked with over the past 40 years of teaching and how they have changed. I am alarmed at the stages of learning that are not being met. When I was growing up and when I first began teaching, children spent a lot of time in the out of doors. They played in the mud, dug in the garden, collected rocks and bugs, built forts and tree houses, climbed trees and rocks, who needed a climbing structure? When they came to the Montessori classroom they were ripe for learning.

 

Now adults seem to think our children have to have a soft landing wherever they go, and OMG if they get dirty they need to be disinfected. Our children’s lack of outdoor experience has a name: “Nature Deficit Disorder is not a medical condition — it describes our lack of a relationship to the environment. It hurts our children, our families, our communities, and our environment. Luckily, the cure starts in our own backyards.” Read more on “Nature Deficit Disorder”. It is very interesting and I believe it has a lot to do with where our children are today.

 

It was 1974; I was head teacher of a class of 36 children 2.5 – 6 years old. I often thought then, “I would like to work in an orphanage; parents just get in the way”.  It did not take long to realize that parents are the main teachers and have the most influence on their children. When we work together as a team, the children benefit. Montessori is a wonderful environment for children to thrive in and it is dependent on our team effort. We sometimes even accepted children just over 2. “Why?” you say, because they were potty trained and ready developmentally to begin in our program. Actually, the sensitive period for potty training is 18-24 months. As far as potty training goes, please don’t be offended but, when disposable diapers hit the scene parental motivation to help their child learn to use the toilet was lowered. Today we are all moving at such a fast pace that we do not want to take time to do what we can put off until tomorrow. This is not serving our children. When we miss that sensitive period it is much more of a struggle to train the child.

 

In those days, most two and three year olds had already begun expressive language and speaking in 3-4 word sentences. A child is capable of speech if it is expected and role modeled by adults. Expectations are the key. Children are very capable of high levels of learning and parents can naturally expect it. When we talk to children like we talk to adults, they pick up on the nuances of vocabulary and conversational skills. The developmental level attained by a 3 year old today is sometimes a year behind children I taught when I first started teaching. Today, we begin with many children who have not learned to look you in the eye when talking, who speak in stilted baby talk, high pitched singsong voices or point and grunt when they want something. Why is this? My guess is that the speed we move at today and TV have had the greatest effect on the very young. Because adults had to move fast, mentally and physically, to keep up in our society, television became a great tool to keep children quiet and occupied. Unfortunately, this does not meet the developmental need of the young child’s brain. Please watch this video. There is no response needed the program just drones on whether the child speaks to it or not. So language is stunted in a way. Youngsters hear words but do not have to speak back to them.  When children are with an adult the back and forth of conversation is absorbed by the child’s brain, which is like a sponge between 0 and 6 years old. The adult can slow down and/or enunciate speech as they converse with the child. They can also vary the words so their child learns to have more interesting communication skills. Instead of “gimme water” or “wa wa” your child can be expected to say “I am thirsty, may I have a drink, please?” They will not get these skills from TV shows that dumb down language for children.

 

I really believe it is not the quantity of time that you spend with your child, but it is the quality and focused time spent which will benefit your child the most. So turn off the cell phone, computer and TV and spend 30-60 minutes a day, listening and communicating with your child, playing in the mud, building something, cooking, gardening, the possibilities are endless. You can never make up this time later. Remember the song “Cats in a Cradle” , it is so true. Take it to heart. No one else can do what you do for your child. Also, this is not just Mom’s job; both parents need to be involved. Remember it is just a short time each day that will create a lifetime of memories.

By Marijane Schafer, Director of Montessori Child Development Center, Poway